Date #59: Scooter Strikes Back

It came without warning.

There I was carrying books to the back stacks of the library when I heard a voice behind me.

VOICE: Man, that ass looks like it needs a tappin'.

I turned around. At which point, someone jumped at me causing me to yelp and drop all the books on the ground.

That someone was Scooter.

ME: Scooter?
SCOOTER: Did you miss me?
ME: What the hell are you doing here?
SCOOTER: I'll take that as a 'Yes.'
ME: Aren't you supposed to be--

It occurred to me I wasn't sure at all where it was Scooter had ended up going these past few months.

ME: --Somewhere?
SCOOTER: I'm back for a visit, and I'm taking you out.
ME: Out where? It's snowing.
SCOOTER: Fine. You ruined the surprise. We're going to go play in the snow.
ME: Yeah, I don't think so.
SCOOTER: How much longer are you going to be at work?
ME: Another ten minutes--
SCOOTER: So?
ME: But then I want to go home and relax and--
SCOOTER: I don't believe this. I come home expecting fanfare and you give me 'I have to go home and do my hair.'

The truth? I was really glad to see him, but regardless of that, you need to have a certain amount of energy for Scooter that I did not have after working eight hours at the library.

ME: I'll end up falling asleep on you.
SCOOTER: Oh baby--
ME: That's not--
SCOOTER: Please.
ME: Scooter--
SCOOTER: Puh-lease...
ME: You're a child.

He grabbed me and pushed me up against the stacks putting his lips within kissing distance of mine.

SCOOTER: Say no now.
ME: What are you? The bad guy in a Lifetime movie?
SCOOTER: I thought if I tried the passionate approach.
ME: Not going to work. Go play with Brian.
SCOOTER: I will--later. I want to play with you now.

Then I heard my supervisor's voice--

VOICE: Kevin?

Terrific. I was going to get caught practicing homosexuality in the stacks.

ME: One second!
SCOOTER: Say you'll come or I'll moan loudly.
ME: You wouldn't dare.
SCOOTER: Ohhhh...
ME: Fine! Fine! Fine! I'll go!

He backed away and smiled.

SCOOTER: See you in ten.

Fifteen minutes later we were at the park adjacent to the library attempting to build a gay snow man and failing miserably.

The snow was pretty light, which is nice if you're cleaning it off your car, but not so nice if you want it to be molded into something resembling the baby of Liberace and Charles Nelson Reilly.

SCOOTER: And I even brought funny gay glasses.
ME: Maybe next time, Scooter.
SCOOTER: First day I show up back in Rhode Island, it snows. Pretty cool, huh?
ME: Yeah, I have a sneaking suspicion you might be Santa Clause.
SCOOTER: And have you been a good little boy this year?

Now for the question that was bugging me--

ME: So where have you been?

Scooter shrugged, and for once a smart-ass answer didn't come out of his mouth. As a matter of fact, no answer came for awhile, and then--

SCOOTER: Kevin, I'm dying.

WHAT?

SCOOTER: Yeah...no.

He laughed and I tossed snow at his face. He wiped it off and came running at me, sending me headfirst into the meager foundation of Augustin St. Luca, our snowman. He tried tickling me, but I resisted by attempting to knee him in the stomach. We were both laughing pretty hard and then...he kissed me. And we kissed. We kissed for like...a minute. It was...actually...nice.

And then--

SCOOTER: God, I want to #$%^ you right now.

Reality has a way of tapping you on the shoulder and reminding you that you're with an oversized, gay frat boy.

I got up and started walking back towards my car.

SCOOTER: What?
ME: What? We were having a really unexpected nice moment, and you ruined it.
SCOOTER: By saying what I feel?
ME: I can't believe this. I just kissed you--and it wasn't the first time! But this time I actually liked it. And then you have to go and be you like that.
SCOOTER: Gee, sorry. Maybe I shouldn't have even come back to say hi to you.
ME: Maybe not, since I actually thought I might have missed you until just then.
SCOOTER: I missed you too!
ME: Okay!
SCOOTER: Okay!

Gah--Poppyseed Bagel!

Scooter sat down in the snow and looked like he was contemplating something. I started to walk back towards the car, then thought better of it and went to sit down next to him. After a minute or two he spoke.

SCOOTER: Okay, the thing is...I know about the blog.
ME: What? How?
SCOOTER: One of the guys I went out on a date with knew about it. He asked me, 'Hey, are you Scooter?' And he showed me the blog.
ME: Wait a second, where was this guy from?
SCOOTER: Providence.
ME: Then how did you meet him? Had he moved?
SCOOTER: No, he met me in Providence.
ME: When were you last in Providence?
SCOOTER: I've been in Providence.
ME: You've been in Providence?
SCOOTER: I've been in Providence.

This was going nowhere.

ME: I don't...Wait...Did you--
SCOOTER: I moved back in with my parents a week after I came back from an awful road trip that ended with me being broke and messed up in a whole lot of ways.
ME: So...you didn't move?
SCOOTER: No.
ME: You've just...been here?
SCOOTER: Yup.

Scooter stood up and helped me up and we started walking back to the car.

ME: So why didn't you tell us you came back?
SCOOTER: Because I was embarrassed.
ME: Why?
SCOOTER: Because I had all these big plans and they all fell through and I felt like a failure.

I stopped him.

ME: Scooter, I'm a college graduate who's still working at the same place he was working at when he finished high school, I have no prospects, not a lot of money, credit car debt, two worthless diplomas, and a bunch of slutty gay friends. And guess what? I'm supposedly not doing that bad. We're all failures, Scooter. Some of us just hide it better than others.

We got into the car and I gave him a kiss on the cheek.

ME: So you're staying, or, not not leaving again?
SCOOTER: Yeah, I'm hanging around--at least until I can get my shit together.
ME: Good. I'm glad. Don't be a stranger.
SCOOTER: It's been hard. I've had to stop going to clubs, bookstores--
ME: Pornography stores--
SCOOTER: Exactly.

After sitting in the car and talking for a little while, we agreed that this would be our last rendevous in the snow. Scooter and I will always work better as friends than anything else.

FRIEND: Does that mean you didn't blow him in the car?
ME: No, I did not.
FRIEND: You have too many friends. Less chat, more action.
ME: Can you believe he was just hiding out in Providence for four months?
FRIEND: Where?
ME: Have there been any extra noises coming out of your closet lately?
FRIEND: You shut your dirty mouth. My closet boys know how to stay quiet.
ME: Lately it seems like there's this giant rush to leave Rhode Island.
FRIEND: Honey, this is the way it goes. You grow up somewhere, you move somewhere else, you live in New York, you live in L.A., you die in Key West with a nineteen-year-old boytoy at your side. That's a respectable life.

When I came home from the date, I debated calling Brian. Did he know about Scooter? I called his cell phone just to see if he'd say anything.

VOICE: Hello?
ME: Hi...Is Brian there?
VOICE: Sorry, I picked up his phone. He's in the shower.
ME: Oh, that's okay. Just tell him--
VOICE: Aren't you going to say hi?
ME: Hi?
VOICE: Kev, it's Connor.

So apparently people die in threes, and return in twos.