Date #8: Everybody in the Pool

So a few people have mentioned that in these blogs I always come across as sounding like a super amazing guy and the guys I date always come across sounding like morons. Well please, let me switch it up a bit.

Went out last night with a cute, funny, into-movies, adorably-shorter-than-me kid from RISD named Aiden. We got ice cream at Ben and Jerry's and then--since I was house-sitting in Johnston--I invited him over to go in the pool.

On the way back we got caught in traffic and there was a little hand-holding going on. It was one of those great moments where you realize you both think the other person is cute. So we were having a good time, and by the time we got to my house there was heavy flirting on the side of sexual innuendoes being thrown around--

ME: So, did you bring a bathing suit?
HIM: No, but I'm wearing cute underwear.

:O) -- That's all I have to say about that.

I changed into my bathing suit and he...well, he pretty took off all his clothes except for aforementioned cute underwear, and into the pool we went.

Well, sort of...

Let me take this opportunity to mention that I avoid any opportunity to go in the pool as possible. Now why would someone who has full-time access to a pool never go in it, you might say? For one thing, I've never met a pool warm enough for me. Hot tubs? Love them. Heated pools? Great. Regular pools? Not so much. For some reason, entering water less than 70 degrees makes my entire body turn blue. So let's just say that my bathing suit doesn't get a lot of use.

Aiden was already floating around the pool in an inner tube while I was still slowly easing myself into the water. My entire body was shaking and every time there was a nice breeze I thought my teeth were going to chatter out of my mouth. This is what you get when the only showers you take are with the temperature firmly set at 92 degrees.

Being the cute/sweet boy that he is, Aiden floated over to me to offer moral support. He hopped out of the inner tube. We kissed a little bit, and Ill admit that was...warming.

(It should be at this point that I alert the reader to a previously unmentioned fact: I'm not above kissing on the first date when the date isn't with a recovering methodone addict or a guy with a giant purse. If up to this point I've come across as a prude...Well, c'mon, I'm a guy. Don't give me that much credit.)

We hung out in the pool for a little while longer and then Aiden suggested that maybe we should try swimming with even less on. I thought this was a pretty interesting idea (Hey, it took eight dates to find someone decent, don't judge.) The problem? I couldn't get out of my bathing suit.

No joke.

Like I said, it doesn't get much use, and I've had it since I was 14. It still fits, but like most of my clothing, it's too big for me. So, to get it to stay on--ironically--I have to tie it really tight. I must have done some sort of advanced boy scout knot on it because the knot would not come undone no matter what I did. Aiden and I were laughing about it at first, but then it just got crazy. Something like swimming around naked is a really spontaneous idea that needs to be taken advantage of immediately, so the longer I fumbled with the bathing suit knot, the less intriguing the idea seemed. Finally Aiden suggested trying to just pull the bathing suit off.

ME: But then I won't be able to get it back on.
HIM: So?
ME: So then I'd have to run back up the porch and into the house completely naked.
HIM: So?
ME: So I'm not sure I want the Crouses who live behind me to know what Special K looks like.

Well, that officially killed the mood. We swam around for a little while longer and then went into the house. I changed back into my clothes--pulling that bathing suit off made me feel like Ross in the Leather Pants episode of Friends--and I drove Aiden home. We talked about the possibility of a second date, and I don't think it's completely out of the question, but he had this look on his face that suggested I might as well delete his phone number now.

FRIEND: This is what you get for wearing over-sized clothing.
ME: It's a bathing suit. It doesn't fall under 'clothing.'
FRIEND: Sex in a pool would have been hot.
ME: I don't think so. Chlorine, cold water, and neighbors watching doesn't strike me as all that enticing.
FRIEND: Are you kidding? Add some flippers and a raft shaped like a Heineken bottle and you just described a typical Wednesday night at my house.

So there you go, for once I was the goofball. I'm imperfect...and skinny. Just thought I should throw that out there.