Date #1: Did We Click?

Met Boy #1 at CLICK, the Adam Sandler movie I've been wanting to see for a few weeks. (To be honest, I haven't so much been wanting to see it as I have an obsession with anything pop culture oriented--during the summer this obsession gets incredibly bad when awful movies become number one at the box office and I feel compelled to go see them--this all dates back to my using staying on top of trends to feel in the loop of life, but that's a weepfest for another rainy day).

The movie was awful. Now, this is coming from someone who's very easy to please when it comes to film. I also wasn't expecting all that much since the movie didn't look all that good to begin with and since I knew it was going to be easier for me to imagine a remote control that works in real life than a universe where Kate Beckinsdale would marry Adam Sandler. Still, I was hoping the movie would be good because a bad movie rarely leads to a good date.

On top of all this, the last half hour of the movie is incredibly depressing and preachy and by the time it's done the last thing you want to do is be on a date. Yet, there I was--on a date.

I like taking dates to movies, I will say that much--despite how this particular effort went. There's something appealing about being able to sit next to someone and size them up for a good two hours before you actually have to talk to them about anything more personal than "Do you want some of this popcorn?" I don't just mean sizing them up physically either, although I won't lie and say that's not a factor. You can tell a lot about a person from a way they take in a movie--what parts they laugh at, whether they seem touched at the touching parts, if they ever glance over at you and smile--movies are my preferred way of having first dates--especially blind first dates.

After the movie we decided to get something to eat. Despite Adam Sandler taking two hours away from my life, I did think Boy #1 was actually quite cute. He laughed at the few jokes I thought were funny. He seemed to be slightly moved during the depressing part of the movie. Overall, I thought he was worth sharing some mozzarella sticks with...and maybe a brownie sundae.

I met Boy #1 through a friend from Boston. This meant he lost points and gained them automatically before the date even started. He lost them by being from way out in Boston (yes, I'm a Rhode Islander, and yes I refuse to date someone I can't get to in fifteen minutes to a half an hour) but he gained them by being willing to drive down here to see me. He was also pretty good at dinner conversation.

BOY #1: So you're into theater?
ME: Yeah, it's what my degree is in.
BOY #1: My last boyfriend was into theater. He was such a fucking prick.
ME: (Looks down at my brownie sundae.)
BOY #1: He cheated on me with my best friend. Then I slashed his tires. (Maniacal laugh.) That's what you get, right?

No word of a lie. "Then I slashed his tires." I have to admit, I've never heard a date admit a felony to me before--Well...not this year anyway.

After that, everything pretty much went downhill. When I'm on a date I don't think is going well I instantly get quiet and focus really hard on my food. Subsequently, my brownie sundae became a subject of great interest, and I puzzled over it like Einsten must have with quantam physics equations.

We parted shortly after that, and I went home and called the friend that set me up with Soupy the Slap-Happy Tire Slasher.

ME: Did you know about the tire slashing?
FRIEND: Well...yeah.
ME: And you still recommended him to me?
FRIEND: Well...yeah.
ME: WHY?!?!
FRIEND: He's cute.

I forgot that my Boston Friend will forgive someone almost anything--including assault on a vehicle of an ex--if the person is at least an 8 out of 10.

Moral of the Story: It's one thing to be a shallow person; it's another thing to let yourself be set up by one.

Onward I go...