Date #78: The Do-Over

I had gone on a date with a guy named Andy.

It went well, and I was pretty much finished with the blog (being this one) and was putting the final touches on it at Scooter's house.

It was then that I made the mistake of running upstairs to get a drink. When I came down, Scooter was sitting at the computer shaking his head.

ME: Something wrong?
SCOOTER: This is the date?
ME: 'Hey Kevin, do you mind if I read this?' 'Yes Scooter, I do actually.'
SCOOTER: So this is it?
ME: It's not completely finished.
SCOOTER: It's not good.

Now, usually I try not to listen to reviews, especially from Scooter, but this time I was a little perturbed.

ME: I think it's a great entry.
SCOOTER: What's it about?
ME: It's about a date that I went on that went really well. Plain and simple.
SCOOTER: It did, huh?
ME: Yes.
SCOOTER: What did you do on it that you've never done on any other date?
ME: Well--
SCOOTER: What do you know about this person? I mean, really know about this person?
ME: Um, I...
SCOOTER: See? It has no substance.
ME: Since when did you become my editor?
SCOOTER: Your last entry was a flashback with a crazy rant, the entry before that was against foreign people--
ME: It was not against--
SCOOTER: EH EH EH! This blog needs a shot of Scooter. Nobody's even commenting on anything.
ME: The people don't always comment.
SCOOTER: They do when you give 'em something to comment about! Your blog needs a do-over.
ME: A do-over?
SCOOTER: It needs to be Scooter-ized.

I re-read what I written...and believe it or not...he was right.

I decided to Scooter-ize.

ME: Hi, Andy?
ANDY: Kevin?
ME: I know it's bad form to call the same night as the date--
ANDY: Oh, that's fine. I had a really nice time. I'm glad you called.
ME: I did too, actually, but...um...
ANDY: Is everything--
ME: I think I can do better.
ANDY: Huh?

Twenty minutes later I was outside his front door.

ANDY: This is kind of new for me.
ME: Me, too. I usually don't do do-overs. I hope you don't think I'm crazy.
ANDY: Truthfully, it's kind of nice to see a guy want to make the best impression he can. Although you really didn't do all that bad the first time.
ME: Yeah, but I didn't do spectacular either.
ANDY: So now you're going to do spectacular?
ME: That's what I'm shooting for.

Since it was around 11pm at this point, there were a limited number of places to go. I decided on the supermarket.

ME: This'll be the plan.
ANDY: Let me hear it.
ME: I need to do a little food-shopping anyway--
ANDY: I'm running errands with you?

He said it with a laugh and a smile. He was already much cuter than he was earlier in the evening.

ME: Don't go knocking running errands. This is me letting you into my life.
ANDY: Ah, I see. I see.
ME: Besides, I'm going to pick up some stuff to make you a great late-night do-over date snack.
ANDY: Really?
ME: That's right.
ANDY: And what compromises a late-night do-over date snack?
ME: I'm not sure yet but it's probably going to involve chocolate, fruit, and whatever liquor you have back at your place.
ANDY: I'm liking the sound of this already.

Once we were at the supermarket, I decided to try learning as many interesting things as I could about Andy.

ME: Any hidden talents?
ANDY: I can still recite the entire original cast of the New Micky Mouse Club.
ME: What do you have it tattooed somewhere on your body?
ANDY: Nope. I learned it when I was seven and I've just never forgotten it. I'm really good at reciting things.
ME: What else can you recite?
ANDY: State capitols. Important dates in the American revolution. 'We Didn't Start the Fire.'
ME: Harry Truman, Doris Day--
ANDY: Red China, Johnny Ray--
BOTH OF US: South Pacific, Walter Winchill, Joe DiMaggio.
ME: Anyone can do that.
ANDY: Yeah, but I can do it backwards.
ME: Bullshit.
ANDY: I can't take it anymore, Rock and Roller cola wars--

And he proceeded to do the entire song backwards.

I'll admit...I got a little turned on.

We picked up some food necessities and then made our way back to his house, but on the way there, I got an urgent text from Turner.

TEXT FROM TURNER: I NEED YOU NOW--MAJOR DISASTER--SOS

I tried calling, but he wouldn't answer. Instead he sent me another text.

TEXT FROM TURNER: TOO IMPORTANT TO PHONE--COME HERE!

ME: Um, Andy, would you mind if we made a little detour?
ANDY: Is there a problem?
ME: It sounds like my friend might be having a meltdown.
ANDY: Wow, I get to meet your friends on the first do-over date?
ME: Lucky you.

When I arrived at Turner's apartment, Brian and Nick were already there sitting in front of the television watching a Top Design rerun.

BRIAN: I'm still pissed that Matt won.
NICK: I thought he had good style.
BRIAN: Yeah, but is his wife blind? The man is gayer than me at an Urban clearance sale.

I didn't see Turner anywhere.

ME: Is he dead?
NICK and BRIAN: No.

I heard yelling. It sounded like Turner and Gary.

ME: Fight?
NICK: Colossal.
BRIAN: Epic.
ME: And you boys were invited to watch the fireworks?
NICK: They didn't start out as fireworks. At first it was just family trouble.
BRIAN: We came over to offer moral support.
ME: And how did that go?
NICK: Carisa is such a baby sometimes.
ME: Ask a stupid question.
BRIAN: As soon as we got here Gary and Turner started fighting.
ME: About what?
NICK: We don't know.
ME: I'm so confused.
ANDY: Me too.
ME: Oh, this is Andy by the way. This is Brian and Nick.
BRIAN and NICK: Hi Andy.

It was then that Turner came out of the kitchen.

TURNER: Thank God.

He came over and gave me a hug. Then he noticed Andy.

TURNER: This is--?
ME: Andy. My date from this evening.
TURNER: Wasn't that earlier on?
ME: It was, yes. I decided to do a do-over.
NICK: A what?
BRIAN: I'm over it and I don't even know what it is yet.

I could see that Turner looked really upset, so I went into the kitchen with him. Apparently Gary had gone into the bedroom to cool down.

ME: What happened?
TURNER: A fiasco. A complete and total fiasco.
ME: Worse than the blue plaid shirt I own?
TURNER: Almost as bad as that. It was a disaster.
ME: Proper nouns, Turner. Try proper nouns.
TURNER: I introduced Gary to my parents.

I was pretty sure the air got sucked out of the room at that exact moment.

ME: You did what?
TURNER: It seemed like the appropriate thing to do. We are living together after all.
ME: They've never met him before--even when you knew him from--
TURNER: Kevin, they've never met anyone I've dated.
ME: Oh...
TURNER: Yeah.
ME: How did it go?
TURNER: It ended with my father calling Gary a 'fairy' and walking out of the house.
ME: Well, your Dad seems like--
TURNER: That was after Gary called him a grade A asshole.
ME: He had to make it Grade A, huh?
TURNER: I don't even know how it all started. It just escalated and escalated...

I sat him down at the kitchen table.

ME: So you and Gary got into a fight?
TURNER: Yeah.
ME: You blamed him for what happened?
TURNER: No! It was definitely fifty-fifty, and my Dad is really hard to get along with. I was arguing with him because he doesn't want them over here anymore and I want to try again next week.
ME: Are you serious?
TURNER: What? This has to work out! I can't have my boyfriend and my father at each other's throats! We have to try again.
ME: Don't you think you should--
TURNER: No. We have to try again.

Guess I'm not the only one who believes in do-overs.

Turner decided he was going to stay by the door all night until Gary agreed to talk to him, so Brian, Nick, Andy and I left.

Back at Andy's place, I explained the situation as I cooked him some scrambled eggs.

ANDY: That's rough.
ME: Yeah, I'm glad Turner and I never dated long enough for me to be the one meeting the parents.
ANDY: So you and Turner dated but you're still friends?
ME: Yeah, we were friends before we dated. Actually I think all my gay friends and I have dated at some point or another.
ANDY: It's good that you can keep people in your life like that.
ME: I'm sentimental when it comes to people.
ANDY: So when you were Turner's boyfriend--

I stopped him.

ME: Whoa, whoa. We weren't exactly boyfriends. The term 'boyfriend' to me is a pretty big deal.
ANDY: So how many 'boyfriends' have you had?
ME: As of last July, I had three. James, Darren, and Mike--if you don't count the one week I spent with another James in high school, who was also my first kiss.
ANDY: Are you still friends with all of them?
ME: James from high school I talk to once in awhile. I'd say we're still friendly, yeah.
ANDY: What about the big three?
ME: James number two went off to UPENN and started having gay sex with anything with legs, Darren's sexual habits are even worse and includes bathhouse trysts, and Mike--Well, Mike was too good for me and now I think he knows that and so he doesn't really keep in touch.
ANDY: What did you like about each of them?
ME: Odd question.
ANDY: You value the term 'boyfriend' so much. Why did each of them deserve it?

We took our scrambled eggs into his kitchen area and sat down.

ME: James was--Well, I was his first everything. First kiss, first time, first gay date--everything. And this was after I'd gone on a string of bad dates with a lot of guys with too much experience in all walks of life, and I wanted a little innocence.
ANDY: And he provided that?
ME: Yeah, he did. He was funny too. He could make me laugh harder than anyone. I still find myself doing or saying things that he did.
ANDY: I do that too, sometimes. Carry on things about exes that I liked by doing them myself.
ME: Like what?
ANDY: Like singing 'We Didn't Start the Fire' backwards.

I laughed.

ANDY: What about Darren? What did you like about him?
ME: I remember we started dating in the summer. I used to walk all over the city with him when it was nice out, then we'd go back to his room and--he used to smell fantastic.
ANDY: Wow, TMI.
ME: No, nothing weird. Just...like this great cologne. And he was just so...not innocent. Which I actually did want after James when I realized that innocent guys don't stay innocent and they don't stay in long relationships their first time out.
ANDY: And Mike? The perfect one?
ME: He always looked happy to see me.
ANDY: Sounds easy enough.
ME: You'd be surprised how hard that is for some people.

We talked about his old boyfriends, my career ambitions, his thoughts on culture, my thoughts on tomatoes (yuck), his family, my family, his childhood, where I see myself in ten years, what his favorite movie is (The Wizard of Oz), what my least favorite word is (flick), his favorite season (fall), and my favorite kind of dog (tie: Saint Bernard or Daschund).

We talked until around four in the morning and then I went home--not before kissing him good-bye though.

ME: And that was pretty much it.
FRIEND: Why didn't you talk about taking each other's clothes off?
ME: Because that would have led to--
FRIEND: A do-over? You can only hope.
ME: I actually liked doing this. It's like revising a paper for school. The second draft is always better.
FRIEND: Just don't make it a habit. Get in, get out, and get the job done.
ME: You have that philosophy with a lot of things, don't you?
FRIEND: I like that his name is Randy. It sounds bouncy and open-minded.
ME: And your name sounds?
FRIEND: It's Latvian for 'man who makes the jaws drop.'

I called Scooter the next day to compliment him.

ME: Your suggestion actually worked. I had a great time.
SCOOTER: Great. But before you take the kid out again, you might want to take Turner out for a drink.
ME: Why?
SCOOTER: He and Gary broke up this morning.

Um...

Wow.